Take Care of Yourself Like You Take Care of the People You Love
There’s something beautiful—and a little heartbreaking—about how generously we care for the people we love. We remember their birthdays, check in when they’re overwhelmed, make soup when they’re sick, listen when they need to vent, and encourage them when they forget how strong they are.
But what happens when we’re the ones in need?
So often, we offer compassion to others and criticism to ourselves. We extend patience to our friends but push ourselves past exhaustion. We tell others to rest, then shame ourselves for slowing down. We know how to nurture others with gentleness—but forget we need that same gentleness too.
It’s time to change that.
Imagine This:
What if you took care of yourself the way you care for the people you love?
What if you…
Feed yourself real meals—not just snacks on the go—because you deserve nourishment.
Gave yourself rest without guilt, the way you'd insist a loved one rest when they’re burnt out.
Spoke to yourself in the mirror like someone you deeply cherish.
Celebrated your own small victories as enthusiastically as you do your friends’.
Held your own pain with tenderness instead of judgment.
This is not selfish. This is sacred. And it’s what I want to work on for myself the most.
Why We Struggle With Self-Care
We’ve been taught, in small and subtle ways, that loving ourselves is indulgent. That putting our needs first means someone else’s will go unmet. But that’s a false tradeoff.
You can't pour from an empty cup—but more than that: you shouldn’t have to.
You deserve care not because you’re useful to others, but because you are human. You are worthy. Your well-being matters, even when no one else is watching.
Ways to Love Yourself Better
Notice your inner voice. Would you speak to someone you love the way you speak to yourself? If not, change the tone. Soften it. Be kind. When I say something about myself, my friend Bob always says, “Don’t talk about my friend Mary like that”. That hits.
Honor your boundaries. Saying no isn’t rejecting others—it’s choosing to protect your energy. Loving people say no to.
Make space for joy. Not productivity. Not achievement. Just joy. It’s not a reward—it’s a need. Buy the flowers, eat dinner on a pretty plate, and indulge in celebrating.
Ask for help. You’d want someone you love to reach out, right? Give yourself permission to do the same.
Forgive your imperfections. You would never stop loving someone because they were struggling. Don’t withdraw love from yourself when you do.
A Simple Reminder
If you're ever unsure of how to care for yourself, try this:
Think of someone you love deeply—and treat yourself like they were living in your body.
Would you push them until they collapse? Would you ignore their sadness? Would you expect them to handle everything alone?
Of course not.
You’d tuck them in early. You’d say, “You’ve done enough today.” You’d tell them, “You’re still good even when you’re tired.” You’d make their favorite tea and remind them of who they are.
So maybe that’s where healing begins:
Not in trying to be everything to everyone, but in being someone to yourself.